I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
farters have to be the big spoon...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
