So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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