All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
