So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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