Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
