In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
