I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
