Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
