He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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