I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
