the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
