WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
