Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I would ride that face into the sunset
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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