I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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