Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
