Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
