i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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