If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
