why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I want a musical about memes.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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