apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
