It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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