Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
