I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
