I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
