Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
