This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
