im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
