Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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