i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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