moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
