I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
