It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
