Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
