North Korea, Best Korea!
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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