My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
