Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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