I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
