We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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