im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
