real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Can Purell be used as lube?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
