found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
