life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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