so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
