Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize