By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
