Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
