I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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