These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
