we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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