Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
