He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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