i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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