I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I cut my penus on the lid.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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