redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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