she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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