she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
