For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
