i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Randomize
