I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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