How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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