My sheets look like a crime scene.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
