Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
