Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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